You are not your broken heart. You are your own being, your own consciousness. Broken heartedness is the theme of the week, and not because it includes St. Valentine's Day. There's a Yod, finger of fate/god, that wraps around Valentines. Mars in Capricorn, in which it is exalted, representing the masculine, the patriarchy, the will to father, is sextile to Venus in Pisces, also exalted therein, representing the feminine and compassion/oneness. At their opposite mid point is Saturn retrograde in Leo representing the father (or karma, if you like) in the Sign of Leo the Heart.

Generally, everybody has a broken heart in relationship with their father. Either he was a tyrant or absent, or, if he was oh so loving, he almost always disappeared from the home because of his work and thereby instilled a sense of abandonment anyway. There is a large minority of women who were sexually abused by their father. Violence was often meted out by pa and either supported by the mother or enabled by her and of course often the mother was the beaten wife literally or figuratively. He generally held the power over the gates to the outer world.

Hopefully dad provided and protected. He was there for you, a rock/anchor/mentor. Mostly he was a story of non-intimacy, a legend in his own time warp, a spud with a Bud on the couch. This has been changing I'm glad to report, but the archetypes continue rather inexorably. Father represents power and strength but also abandonment, judgment, rulership and in subtle or not subtle ways: death. This may sound extreme. It is not. I have observed karma and the psyche since I was a little boy and have seen all of this matrix in my life and my clients. It hasn't budged much yet. May it do so now.

Our relationship with our father conditions us to our relationship with the outer world and all that bigger stuff like Law and Society, authority figures and God. Our relationship with our mother conditions us to our relationship with our body and what is called inside, the inner life, and our relationships intimate. (I'm offering a premium for donation [see below] which includes a DVD talk I give on Karma and Relationship; I recommend it.) It's the daddy stuff that is up right now. We can see it in the stories of Bush I and II. The hopelessnesses in our father stories get projected out onto our government and leaders plus country. So does our rage and terror. All of this is evident royally these days. The violence of men to men is inherent in all the old daddy stories. So is our natural homophilia and the distorted projections that are dumped onto gay men and the resulting homophobia and homoholocausting. We have a long way to go........

It's time that men face their feelings, become conscious on the inside plus the outside and in relationship with their fathers. If not, it gets acted out with terrible tragedy endlessly. The dominance of the patriarchy for many thousands of years has warped society and has been internalized in all of us. This is some of the main underpinning to the corporate madness that has destroyed so much culture and family and community and nature. Power doesn't work in ways that are integrated and supportive; it tends to destroy and alienate. Men: face your broken hearts with your fathers and brothers first, then onto mom/sisters/women.

Women experience their father archetypally as an absence, a void. Because of the patriarchal patterns of holding women as a subhuman set to be used as chattel and to be ignored, not only are they absent, but there are also terrible abuses physical and psychological, emotional and intellectual, and if you throw in the religious madness, spiritual. All of this is still largely unseen in our personal and collective stories in my opinion. The oppression is entirely underrated yet! It has tremendous effects on men too, but the great difficulty for women is that your father patterns will be projected on to men ad nauseaum unless you wake up in them. The pattern is that: men are not there for you. Being a victim becomes a way of life and even gets shined up into seductive poses and social constructs (so do men's tyrant stories). Patterns, karma, get re-enacted and re-manifested over and over and overwhelmingly. You just might be noticing this this week.

It doesn't work to mend your broken heart or to forgive or transcend. It would have worked by now if it actually did work. You can go celibate or some such but these patterns affect all different aspects of our lives anyway. I highly recommend that you realize your own being. Claim your own consciousness and clear your own karma, your own patterns, your own stories. Then you can manifest much more of what you want without control and hyper effort and vigilance. Action and reaction do the same thing. They shred you and empower the mind, the Game, the Drama. Wouldn't you rather be yourself with others who are being their selves? That's what works. The communication and sharing are much clearer and easier and dare we say: playful.

It's your choice.

It's not a should or a better or a commandment. It's your choice. We can't control shit. But we can enjoy shift if we are intentional and quite a more lovely manifestation in our relationships and our lives. Most significantly we can enjoy our own being which no one or thing can take away or alter, and that my dear friends is not power in any way. That is your own being, your nature, if you claim it. I can share with you how to realize your own being in a karmic clearing session. I can help you to unwind from the installed karmas that play out oh so really in your dramas. It's your choice.

We've been through the loneliest time of the year what with the holiday blues along with the leaden aspects of Capricorn and the disconnections of Aquarius. New love doesn't cure that; children and puppy dog tails don't cure that; transcendence doesn't cure that. It all would have worked by now if it was going to work. You are not a love failure! Love fails in that it is just another projection in the Dream that is not you. We still face the existential dilemmas in this Dream, but you are not in it nor are you it in the ways that you think, in the ways that think you.

So be. Be together. As you choose. Let allllllll the rest melt. Giggle and gurgle, coo and coo with each other in recognition that it comes with some measure of the coo coo. Play. Don't take it seriously and embed more beliefs upon beliefs. Ignorance is blitz. Choose. Communicate. Things settle out fine when you do. When you buy into the projections and all the right/wrong good/bad love/fear-hate........ you're sunk..... sunk into something that has never been you. You are not a heart that ever was broken. Grin and unbear it and be...... be with the ones you love and the rest too, as you so choose. You and your life are not a wrong that must be made right. Be.

Lots of depression is floating around. It arises from the above, but it is also just existential. If you are not depressed, you are not paying attention. Creation depresses your being so that you can chase after doing something to be somebody in the house of mirrors. Undo and play with it all.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 13th at 8:38 pm PST. Let Cupid shoot his own heart this year. No need to shun, but also no need to glom. Just meet: being with being. That's erotic. All the rest is neurotic. If ya think all that drama is fun, dive in; but remember that the bottom is insanely shallow these days. Ouch. It's all about the chocolate anyway.....

So I suggest that you consider going beyond the Heart. What does the Heart have to do with anything anywho? Being is way more tender and real and sensual and kind and passionate and juicy with a whole lot less blowback and bullshit that then has to frittered with. You are not your heart, your body, your soul or your mind or the whole thang. That's the fractalization of the Dream. Unity is just glue on the top of what you ain't. Be and play.

Roses,
Mark