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by Mark Krueger

Archive 2006


April 21, 2006

Cross Purposes

Deep anxiety is pulsing in the Dream. This is the endless noise that thrums through the mind stuff of the spiritual and material realms. Chasing after the fractured projections of Creation establishes chronic insecurity based in the fact that you can't ever attain your own being and must fruitlessly chase changes around the Wheel. Power is the supposed answer the problem. More gold, more god, more oil, more toil on the path.......... None of it works or will ever work. You are realizing this. The panaceas of bliss and love and silence won't cover the smell of the anxiety of the search. You can realize your own consciousness, your own being by direct intention. You can melt the anxiety for you. If you don't, it will get radically louder and more real. You will be driven to ascensions and denials that will drive you deeper in the anxiety and that will loop evermore constrictively. It is your choice. Not sacred, right or blah blah blah. Just a choice.

The Grand Cross is back with a vengeance. That is to say, people will be acting more and more reactively to revenge their shadows. Madness is becoming more normative which is the true madness. Justification of idealized ends creates desperate means. The insanity of projection will be seen more and more vividly. Truth and lies are sidetracks to the baseline suffering of making projections real and then acting upon their flickering shadows. Claim your own consciousness directly and cut loose the machinery that fosters the suffering of realizing the mind and its high and mighty projections. Let your sacred cows out to pasture. Walk away from your holy taboos. Wake up in the denials of addiction and secrets. All you can ever protect are the fears; all you can ever secure is the mind. You don't have to live that way, but you must choose directly to let the Dream go for you. Taking refuge in your so-called higher self and all like projected realms will lead you deeper down into the dilemma. Go ahead if you think it's fun and precious and such, but consider keeping your eyes open beyond the beliefs. The mind is in full grind chasing the karma of its behind. Fun dissolves when you are under the gun.

This echoing Grand Cross in the Fixed Signs lasts until June 23. There's a hiatus from May 21 to May 28. It doesn't hang in the power points with exactness like the Sept. '05 to Feb. '06 Cross, but it'll still rip you a new one wherever you are holding on to the old. The lack of abundance is being revealed. I mean that sentence both ways. The abundance of the western, first world countries is built on the degradation of third world peoples, the feminine, myriad species and ecosystems. Poverty is the shadow of power. It's unlikely that this suffering paradigm will ever be remedied but it is obscene in our time and we are conscious of it. It is time to face it. If not, and likely not, the oppressed will beget their karmic revenge in all manner of strange happenings. Even more disturbingly, abundance is based in lack and all its glorious fear. As resources on the planet wane, the haves worry that their abundance will be halved and the have-nots will be coming over the ghettoed walls. What goes way around comes way around. Power is being faced by the fear inherent in its own desires. What's on the plate is serf and turf. The serfs want their turf, their stake. Sharing and caring may be too late for some. These are dangerous times. Be with what is as it is. Express yourself. Choose freely and let folks be. If you control your self and others, you will watch it all go out of control. You have a choice for you.

Grand abundance, materially and spiritually, makes clear that having it all is empty. The mirage is apparent. This is the depression of the first world countries, humans in general, and dare we say it: the gods. They act addictively. What a shadow that fosters! Greed feels like a need. More becomes less. Here we are at the Grand Crossroads. Realize your own being and you won't step too heavily down any projective path; the karma is a lot less thick. But if you go to get your dream to come true, blowback will occur. Just do what you want to do and let all the projections go. You are the fun. All the rest and unrest comes and goes.

New Moon is in Taurus on the 27th at 12:44 pm PDT. It plugs right into the Cross. Your happiness is likely to be noticeably elusive cuz it is illusive. Happiness comes packaged with unhappiness. It's a trinket that is shiny and vacuous. The delight of your own being is what you seek but you are seeking it in projection, high and low. Realizing your own being dissolves the search, effortlessly. You can enjoy yourself while the daze of happiness comes and goes. The world can meet your delight be reflection rather than you pushing and pulling on it to give you joy.

Peace is inherent to your being as well. Silence in all the transcendent practices is just a state in fields of change. It all comes and goes, but you don't. It's your choice.

Enjoy your wonderful self,
Mark