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by Mark Krueger

Archive 2005

August 5, 2005

Ego

I want to debunk the Ego. Leo is a poster child for the narcissistic ego. There's an old joke about Leo.... The Leo person says: "Enough about me; what do you think about me". Leo is the child and all children are self interested; their view is their view. Socialization is, in part, about becoming aware of the other, discerning: the agenda of Virgo. Leo is wonderfully charming in its self-fulness. Leo in caricature is ridiculously selfish. In actuality, all people go through the crush in infancy and childhood of having their being ignored and having installed in them programs to be somebody. Thus arises the so-called Ego.

In Freudian terms, the Ego arises to tame the Id and then hopefully the Super-Ego takes over. The Freudian view has been stale for some time. Though remarkably pioneering, it maintained identification in the mind, directly. My roots are much more Jungian (Jung being a student who radically branched off from Freud). Consciousness in various forms became recognized through his work. The New Age couldn't really exist without Jung's viewpoint. He utilized astrology in much of his work. The Oriental awareness was profoundly brought to the West through him. Jung honored the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the I-Ching by offering a potent forward to their book. That text was a primary influence on my work; I honed my ability to 'read' symbolically by using the I-Ching fanatically in the early 1970's.

In the New Age we have this mix of Freud and Jung in our jargon and constructs. What I came to realize in 2000 is that I am my own consciousness and not a collective/source/all-One Consciousness. The night I realized that, the mind began to dissolve effortlessly and I saw through the Dream and its projections. I saw that the notion of Ego was simply an effective strategy of the mind to keep a person identified in the mind. I saw that the Super-Ego, ala Higher Self/Soul and such, was another effective strategy of the mind to keep a person even more deeply identified in the mind.

My clients regularly reference to their Ego, that bad boy/girl/demon of self interest. They speak believedly of how they must tame the Beast. Shame, shame. What in the world is naughty about self interest? It is so very evident that any notion of Soul or higher self or Spirit and so forth is grandly self interested and unconsciously so at that. Transcendence and transcendent states and aspirations are all states of denial in the most narcissistic, unconscious and projected manner. The being is not narcissistic, unconscious and projected. The mind is! And it is not who you are! Get it!?! This is what I am often popping when I write to you. The greatest unconsciousness is held in the spiritual precepts. There is nothing wrong with them per se. But clearly there is nothing right with them. Oh, how loaded the spiritual with its rightness! Get a clue?

It is easy enough to point to me or what I write to you as being arrogant. I've had a couple of well known spiritual teachers say that to me by inference or otherwise. I simply say the mind is an arrogant interloper, especially the higher mind/"Consciousness" projections. I poke at those elephants in the psyche that are greatly ignored. I go boo to the taboo of seeing simply what is apparent. Besides, what I say or what anyone says is simply what they say. It's very likely to be arrogant to point to a person and say they are arrogant, when in fact the person pointed to is simply stating something. One can take it or leave it. But the mind...... in all its forms, especially the higher mind, is very defensive and will speak its own unconscious projections. Just listen. Just be and ye shall see. No big deal.

Beliefs get all elaborated and heirarched, complexed and culted. One's being is completely simple. It is who you are. You can't feel it, experience it or point to it. It's what you are. No drama, no dharma, no karma. Claim who you are and clear your identification in what you are not. If you ascend in the process, if you go into some state, some neutral zone and so forth, it is the mind and always is the mind because you just translocate on the changemobile. Go ahead if you are having a good time, but if you see through the Game, have a session with me. I can remember to you how to monkey-wrench the mind. There isn't anything arrogant or humble about it. It's just a choice.

So I say shit-can Ego from your constructs. Same for Higher Self and all such projections. If you take a look, it's the same game over and over again. Slice and dice all you want 'til your blue in the face, but it all cooks down to a simple program of hide and seek on the Karmic Wheel of Creation. Seeking what you are, hides you from you. That's my definition of suffering, of materiality, of spirituality and of the whole shebangee. Being yourself is not some Separation from some Unity. Unity is a separation of projection from your own being. Unity is just the fractured glue on top of the shift cake. Get done with it and you can be present and play with it all as it melts. You'll never miss your halo/crown-chakra/soul bidness. You'll be delighted in your own being; it never comes and goes nor drags you on stairways to heaven or slippery slopes to hell. Nirvana is just a band. Come home to yourself.

So dear Leo. You are fine just as you are. Likely you are more painfully aware of your own self-loops. If not, somebody points to them. But finally you just are. Ain't nobody gonna take that from you cuz it ain't a that. Let 'em take or let drop all that stuff that you ain't. Shine on star, shine on. You ain't Lion.

Astrologically the week ahead doesn't have much shiftola. The 5th has the Moon just moving beyond the Sun while Mercury retrograde conjuncts the Sun and they oppose Neptune in Aquarius. This polarization is a most interesting one in these two of the four power points in the Zodiac. This is a superb time to see through illusion and projection. To drop the Dream in your identification. I don't mean wake up in the Dream. That's what is usually sold. If you Awake in the Dream, you are still in the damn thing. I don't recommend Awakening cuz it keeps you dreaming. I don't recommend Enlightenment because it keeps you chained in the Shadow. How's about just simply being? You can't try to do that. It's a choice. Choose or snooze. Nothing wrong with snoozing, but it does come packaged with considerable suffering, yours and theirs. Take a pick or pick pick pick, get it wrong, get it right, get high, get low, get good, get bad, get embodied, get ensouled, get gotten.

The mind is everything in the Dream: spirit, matter, incarnate, energetic, God and not-God, etc. You are not the Ego. You are not the mind. You are. Be and have fun with all the rest.

Thus play on,
Mark