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by Mark Krueger

Archive 2005

March 4, 2005

Wanting Dead or Alive

Life and death continue to literally hang in the balance. On the 7th at 11:15 am EST, Mars in Capricorn exactly opposes Saturn retrograde in Cancer. This is deeply intense. Everything about incarnating and disincarnating is up. Jupiter retrograde in Libra is T-crossing to that polarization. All the effort to find the middle way, the balance, the loving, just, proper thing.......... that's all up too. It'll drive you crazy. The corker is Mercury entering Aries on the 4th at 8:34 pm EST. This kicks in a Grand Cross by Sign that will last until the Spring Equinox. It is a fuzzy Grand Cross in which things don't quite come into focus without the satisfication of knowing what you are doing, what is going on. Let that be!!! What an opportunity to burn off considerable aspects of the physical mind. You are cooking in the stew of what brought you to embodiment. That's a load and a half. Unload, if you please!

The point is that it is all pointless on the Wheel. The Path is a rut and it goes in a circle. Ascension is a spiral stairway to heaven that is nevertheless most obviously a circle with a twist. Get all the DNA strands you want but your pantings are still in a twist. Whatever goes up must inherently come down no matter what the dogma, faiths and beliefs suggest. Most importantly all of this is not who you are. Who you are is not determined by your grinding in a certain direction on the Wheel. Getting it right only keeps you wronged. Getting it high and mighty leaves you endlessly mighty high and dry while thirsting for more of the same, the same that is always dressed up to be the new and improved. The futility of the Game drives the quest, the hope, the meaning/purpose of it all. Are you tired yet? Wake up to your inner gerbil, your higher lemming, your sacred kowtow.

It ain't no big deal but don't tell that to the Wheel. Grind you must in the name of the Load and Saver. Hollow lulu. Praise Good! Turn the other cheek and get a kick out of it. Do you see? Do you feel? Do you smell the rancid Dream. Drop the Game and you will no longer despair in hope; you will no longer lonely in the all one, you will no longer seek who you already are. Give up seeking and you give up hiding. Amazing Grace is a con for the pros. The middle way leads you in the path of the semis. The holey grail leaks; who cares if it is half empty or half full?

The effort of the Dream has never been more obvious. You have not seen nuttin' yet! The more you seek for fulfillment on high, within, one for all and all for one........ the more you will fracture out chasing after your evermore evident projections. Chasing your tail in the cosmic quest will become more fragrant. You will bite your other hand you thought had freed you. You will climb high into a pit. These are not curses. I simply point to what has always been the trappings of the Dream, the mind, the Game. Drop it or be dropped on your head in the name of enlightenment.

The 10th brings a New Moon in Pisces at 4:10 am EST. That is oxymoronic. This newness in the endness doesn't exactly feel like renewal. It is veryyyyyy easy to dissasociate, to seek the high, to seek the other side of the veil of green pasteurization. Envy is a juicy projection indeed. Though shall covet in the Dream and every effort to stop will keep you more and more embedded. You can claim your own consciousness and clear your own karma; you can clear your identification in the projection system of the Dream. If you awaken in the Dream you are still in the Dream. Awakening is the usual ploy of the higher mind. Lucidity in the muck is a silly seduction at its core but ohhhh is it popular. All that happens is that you go into a new, blasted, blessed state. Bliss is ignorance. The Light is at the end of the tunnel because you continue to tunnel into the Dream. Go to the Light all you want but you'll be kept in the dark while coming and going. One more time......... are you tired yet? This week will be a keen illustration of the Dream in fractions. Give up multiplying the divisions. Subtracting yourself will never add up to the sum of it all. You don't have to be squarely rooted in the sacred geometry. Numbering your daze on the Wheel will count you out and have you counting on the mind. This hyper state of math amphetamine is not you. Claim your own consciousness and clear the department of silly walks department or forever hold your pieces.

A whole lotta shakin' goin' on,
Mark