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May 15, 2008
I woke up this morn in waves of sobbing. My cells are weeping. They
weep for the world and for their world. My body is ill, or rather, it
is unwinding the ills of yesternow. Energy just falls out the bottom
for me. It never did that before. Yesterday I didn't write because I
didn't have a base of energy; that's the only way I can describe it. I
do have a physical base to call home at the moment in a cheap, but nice
motel in Chico, CA. I'm paid through Monday which gives me the relief
from housing worry for a few days; that's been rare for two and a half
months.
That is happening because of you. I can't thank you enough, except by
writing to you herein. You have kept me alive and comforted by your
financial donations. All blessings to you.
I also have the only bed I've been able to sleep restfully on for the
last eleven months on the road. Bedding down in deep comfort has
accelerated my healing and made it possible to begin writing to you so
that I can sing for my supper. Your financial gifts to me are my only
income. I'm eating better all the time, but the bottom has generally
fallen out of my guts, too. Food blows through without stopping along
the way. Never had that before either.
I'm cleansing and clearing deeply at the cellular level. Despite
appearances, I'm very sensitive to my body. I've been more healthy,
let's call it the absence of serious ills, than almost anyone I've
known. For the last ten years, any ill was rare and very minimal in its
symptoms. Joy lives in my cells, too. I've retained that by grace and
by choice. I do what I like to do, and even if it's a mite rough on
some cells, they appreciate the play, too.
My karma tends to run to self affliction, as they like to say, or so it
appears. Addiction to the sugars and carbs, and in the old days
alcohol, comes familial, in spades and shovels. There's a fungus
amongus, at least resident in me. I got fed sugary formula in the
1950's and it went down sugar hill after that. Grandparents fed me
sugar from wake 'til sleep. I liked it, or rather had already been
conditioned to it. My dad made popcorn shortly after dinner about 340
days a year throughout my childhood. Often ice cream followed that, so
I never went to bed without a gut full of carb. I ate it. It ate me.
What I've come to realize is that my family installed and nurtured
candida albicans, yeast, in me, as had been done unto them. My genetics
are German; Germans are carb freaks. They literally eat more bread than
any other culture. Add in the beer, booze, sweet treats and meats and
you've got a glory land for the yeasties. Maybe you grew up that way,
too. Forty per cent of the genetics of all Americans are German.
Apparent self inflictions begin with the inflicted having been
inflicted by others first. Sometimes you have to leap beyond this
lifetime to see it; or, sometimes it comes as a familial or cultural
miasmic pattern. Blame is not useful, but it is oh so common. It
relieves anxiety by dumping on the other. These loops are constant in
human interchange, and that's one of the reasons I don't much care for
it here, including my own patterns.
What is unwinding for me now is fifty five years of fun with fungus. I
lived in cold, damp environs for most of my life, conditions which
foster the yeasties. (For the last two plus years I've lived in the
desert because it discourages such moldiness.) In the dampness of
southern Indiana while in my 20's, I became ill with histoplasmosis, a
fungal disease, in this case in my lungs, but also systemic. Every
night for some weeks back then, I soaked an entire futon drippingly wet
ala tuberculosis, which it mimics in that respect. It subsided, but was
still in me all these years, until I moved to Hawaii three months ago.
There, I blew out a candida ulcer/lesion in my stomach by zapping my
body with two drops of Miracle Mineral Supplement by Dr. Jim Humble
(more on that later). To my surprise, the histoplasmosis started to
pour out of my skin. It has a distinct sweet smell that is unique to
it.
That noise seems to have burned through, but the lesions in my stomach
and gut are still dancing. I'm now on a regular regime of the MMS,
which is sodium chlorite. It's clearing out the buggies. Because I have
a load of fungus throughout my system, it'll take some time. The
lesiony things likely take the longest because of their construction,
but they're time will come soon. I don't know if I'll get them first or
they'll get me.
I don't have control over that, but I do exercise my choice. I choose
not to go see the medicos. Allopathic medicine is a disaster in my
opinion. [The people are very well intended, but they support, foster
and enable the mad system. So do we.] It has directly lead people from
their natural health. We are as healthy as we are, historically
speaking, because of the miracle of public health and sanitation plus
improved nutrition. Science works wonders, either way......
Science has merit because it fosters being conscious of what is. That
is wonderful indeed! Science is the dominant religion of our time (and
on into the Aquarian Age). In all its power, Science is a nightmarish
disaster because of Descartian mechanistic thinking in which Science
believes, and it is a belief system, that you can find the whole, the
truth, by dissecting things to their bits.
Ala the Romans, allopaths divide to conquer; but the soul, the whole is
missed. Thus, I don't see anything that I would call health coming out
of HMO's, and as to care......... well, when was the last time you went
to the doc and how caring was it (and how caring was the cost?). Lately
there's been efforts to merge the spiritual into allopathy, but I
haven't found that to work very well either. Tis just more splitting,
along with the installation of terrible guilt because you aren't as
purely healthy as god or some such: Science Christian in the Roman
Piscean Age.
We are inherently healthy. Ignorance gets in the way. Patterns are
ignorance. Science is a pattern of ours in hope of getting unignorant,
and it does on the one hand, but it installs a different variety of
ignorance, as does the spiritual, on the other hand, unconsciously.
Getting bodymindspirit all one won't get rid of suffering, because they
aren't all one. I say just let the parts be the parts that they are,
and instead dissolve the ignorance at all those levels, as people
fracturedly see them (and they see them fracturedly because of
sciencemind and spiritmind (Trinity).
Oneness is a reaction to the splitting effect of the software of
Creation. It is binary code. The belief is that there is a stream you
can salmon swim back up: to Origin, to Unity, to Oneness. That would
have worked by now if it was going to work. Be, and the split/union
game falls away. The reason why the spiritual has had to come so
forward, even to the banks of the river Oprah and the best seller
lists, is that Science has been brutally ignorant. But all you have to
do is look at Tibet, and you can see the same thing, brutally;
historically they didn't exactly treat the people swell either. The
spiritual an be oh so brutal too, not just in the Tibetan story.
It makes no real difference to split hairs between the badness of
religion and the goodness of the spiritual, and either of them versus
Science. It's all the same software. You rename something, fall into a
new and supposed improved trance, and they're ya go again. Same old
same old suffering with some ignoring newness leading you on to the
promised landing, which never comes, all the better for the selling of
it.
I say that what is beautiful in our era is that we are becoming
conscious of what has been unconscious. But when you slap some dumb old
power shit on top of that, whether it's the power and profits of
Science, or whether it's the power and prophets of the spiritual, you
only worsen the ignorance, vainly.
There is no such thing as higher consciousness. Being conscious is just
that. Anyone selling upticks are just selling indulgences with some
papalian stamp, some goodness, some godness that'll powerfully change
things. Well, if you haven't noticed, change is all that ever happens.
Likely we have little effect at any time in the sense of controlling
change. Where we have massive effects, is by being conscious, by
unignoranting.
Being with what is as it is, interrupts the conditioned ruts of change
inflammation: getting a hot change over here while linearly believing
that this will do it this time..... all better. We are inherently the
destination that better implies. If ya try to do better, and we always
will locally with whatever subject is at hand, while believing that the
trying and the bettering are going to get you to you................
that my friends is the ignorance that is burning off now, unless you
put out the fires.
Prius's won't save the world. Don't buy one and get out and walk.
Vibrating at a higher rate does absolutely nothing to dissolve
suffering, but you think it does. These vanities are the grotesqueries
that we all live in, moi included. What hurts so bad for all of us is
that we all hurt so bad. Anything we try to do doesn't really touch
that, but it changes it. Then you have to get used to those changes
until that trance wears off and oops, we do it again.
I just want you to see that it's not you that does that. It's the
software. Dissolve your identification in the software of the mind at
all levels, and...... you just be. Being is effortless. No big deal.
The effortful strivings of our era is a big deal that keeps on creating
bigger deals that we have to then attack.
With the tight spiraling of the Mayan Calendar effects, we can now see
to the other side of the projection. Can you see that if you try so
hard in one direction on the Wheel, you become the opposite. Thus
building new Priuses cost more than the benefits you get. Cheap oil,
water and resources are done. From here on it costs more to get the
stuff than it is worth. We are lemminging pridefully before the cliffy
fall.
What I recommend is undoing. I've been undoing all the way down to the
bones. As a result, I don't have shit, but............. shit don't have
me. I have some local dilemmas and pains, but suffering I doesn't have
me existentially. What a relief! In time, I'll either stick in this
world or I won't, but we know that ultimately we come and we go. I can
abide that much more clearly now.
The ignorance that is killing us is that we don't face the ignorant
pain that was put upon us in the past. As a result, we just do
do-gooding, with that ignored pain just under the surface and whadaya
know..... more pain is dumped on another, with a bit of feel good on
top for the foister. We can't stop this, but we can become conscious in
it; then the suffering falls away, even if there is still some
ubiquitous pain.
So as I watch my ignorances unwind with bodihood (and bodhihood), I
feel the pain, the grief. When we weep, we always weep for all of our
stories, yours and mine. I let weeping be. I was born in 1952 when
Johnny Ray's pop charts' number one was entitled: Cry. That's what I
do, I cry out. I cry out to you so that we can cry together and alone,
but undo the stuck grievances that have kept us isolated and suffering,
together and alone.......
Let us unsuffer together, no longer bound to good/bad and higher/lower.
Praise be.
Mark Herbert Krueger
MMS is sodium chlorite, which is the most effective killer of nasty
buggies there is. They use it topically in slaughterhouses; it's the
only thing that can kill the real nasties without itself adding to the
nastiness. It does the same thing in the body. Dr. Humble was a gold
assayer and is a brilliant pragmatic chemistry minded sweetheart. He
just watched and chose, all the way to the simple. That's what I mean
by undoing. You let the sorting take place and you get down to basics,
basics that work and do no harm. I find the allopaths have done obscene
harm on balance. Some of the good does not apologize for the majority
of the damage that has been arrogantly put upon us all. Big Pharma
hopefully will be rolling towards its own grave, too.....
Humans do not have a medicine deficiency. Medicine is the awkward yet
profitable way to give people some magic while keeping them coming back
for more, because health was not fostered. Even the magic of
antibiotics looks like it'll be historically short lived. What MMS does
is make your innards unacceptable for the critters that aren't you
including your naturally evolved friends like healthy intestinal flora.
It isn't that it does anything, in the sense of a vector that kills,
like chemotherapy, which kills the human itself. (Why do you think I'm
not going to the MDs?!) MMS is just the aid to disallow all those
nasties that we've hosted forever.
My cells are clear as a bell now. It is a distinct and wonderful
feeling. This clarity is simply the absence of the noise of disease
bugs and parasites. Once the lesions unwind, I won't have much pull of
nastiness in me. What I've also seen is that I won't have to be so
prophylactic in my behaviors. Clean food, water and environs are real
human needs, but all the dogmas of purity can be let go of. They were
coping mechanisms. With MMS there's nothing to cope with because the
load has been taken off of your immune system. It can then handle the
vagaries of life as we adventure.
What I'm finding is that old, hidden stressors on my system are falling
away. If I live through these months of rapids, smoother waters await
me. I'm delighted. I'm also excited for humanity. Ignorance usually
reigns (and rains). Hopefully on this one, it will not. What I suggest
if you decide to use MMS is that you follow just what they say, but be
gentle. It's just chemistry, so accuracy is very important. The usage
is still new and the way Dr. Humble presented it was not so clear.
There are now others that are communicating how to use it much more
clearly. If you use it, use it gently. Work your way into it a drop at
a time. It sets up nausea and such sometimes because the nasties are
leaving rapidly. That's why you go natural.
We've never had a miracle like this in its broad implications. I sure
would like to see Oprah highlighting this for the world and Africa,
rather than all the other Gorey saviorism.
We're rotting from the inside. The sooner we unwind that, the easier it
will be to do no harm to the planet and each other, at least reasonably
so, instead of the insanity that we now live in. I suspect that a lot
of the awful sociology and psychology that we suffer in is simply the
result of a load of bugs that as always been in humanity. With the
dissolution of gross subgrade "normal' levels of infection, our energy
will be free to apply in clear and playful ways. We won't have to feed
the "monsters". Also, we can off load the religious dogmas that have
plagued us because they were developed during various plagues and
disease. Kosher can be on the inside rather than the outside, which we
can't much control.
Remember it is all a choice. We all come out of loops of suffering in
our own time. Many of them we never come out of and these develop into
civilization and become normative. Being self responsible requires self
listening. Forget about overlays of loving yourself and such. That
stuff just deepens people's guilty trippings. You aren't bad and you
don't need to get good/god. You just are and all these binary spins
have tranced you for eons. The wonder and delight is that it hasn't
buried us, and it would have if it was going to by now.
The mass churn in Creation is a yin yang change game. There is no
point. You enjoy it or you don't. If you don't, I say come undone and
play along the way as it dissolves from your identification. You are
the fun and the joy. I'm delighted to be with you and so appreciate you
being with me.
Thus play on........
Mark Herbert Krueger
This is the sort of science that I think is wonderful because it offers
whole views of an entire system. We still trudge through having the
diseases and curing them; all of that is honorable. But if we can get a
handle on disease in toto, we likely will be able to apply clear and
effective vectors of cures or work-arounds to specific suffering
stories. I'd like that. I don't like to see people suffer, especially
me. Har har. But if we start with reducing our own suffering, we'll be
helpful to others in their unwinding.
Disease may arise by simple mutation, gremlins. Then they get stuck
into the genetics. Another snippet that I caught on TV, don't remember
the show, spoke of one literal cause of gremlins in technology.
Computer chips are connected with aluminum conducting lines. They used
to put lead in the admixute to prevent the gremlining, but since lead
is bad for humans, they cut it out. Now there are major pieces of
technology in our world, and in space, that will likely gremlin and go
to ruin.
What happens is that over time, aluminum will grow whiskers, atomic
sprouts of extremely thin threads of the metal. If the thread touches
the next chip or whatever, shorting happens and the chips are
destroyed. The technology then tumbles, or in the case of satellites,
kaput! We and our modern world hang by threads.
This impermanence is famously taught in Buddhism. To see it in our
world now, is very daunting. The more powerful we get, the more
vulnerable we get. Like antibiotics: you use the power leading to
abusing the power. Then it turns powerless, with even mightier nasties
that we "trained" into a super state that our immune systems may not be
able to handle at all when our powers abandon us.
Likewise, Al Qaeda for instance, at a sociopolitical level: The USA
funded and weaponized Al Qaeda to kill the Soviets. Since nothing can
ultimately be controlled: blowback. It's the vanity of control, rather
than the freedom and humility of choice, that is killing us into deeper
suffering. But to choose, you have to listen; to yourself first, and
then others. That's why civil disobedience works. It is not
controlling, it is a choice. The controlling powers are eventually
nixed, cuz you can't touch that. It's just a choice. The same is true
at the interpersonal level, too.
Well.... enough about unwell. I just finished Steve Martin's
autobiography entitled: Born Standing Up. His dad was quite horrible to
him in normal father/son ways, but more so. What I found over all the
years of doing karmic astrology work with people is that: to be famous,
you have to have a fucked up dad story. There are always exceptions,
but if you are famous.... the way you got there..... is to have a dad,
which represents an archetype of the outer world, not paying attention
to you, not loving you well. For some folks, this is the spur to get
the big dad, society, to give them attention, to love them well. It
doesn't work and so one day the famous person wakes up, and Steve
certainly did, to the fact that the public acclaim does not make the
owies go away and dadness must be faced, if you are to come to peace.
For a fellow that was reticent to share himself personally, Martin
surely does in this book. I'm proud of him as a man to have made that
journey and burn through what was put upon him. I also read Eric
Clapton's autobiography: Clapton, and he too is wonderfully revelatory
about his process in exorcising his very painful past. (more about him
another day, I have a great story)
Steve quit stand up when he was booked solid for two more years. That's
transformation. When he was done, he was done. Comedy had never been
done with this endless touring in venues that held tens of thousands of
people. Steve broke the mold in every way. Now I know where he got the
money to buy all the great art that he has and appreciates. He's been
no slouch since he quit stand up either.
This is classic in the unwinding of father/son archetypes.
Unfortunately, it tends to come on the death bed of the father, which
is the setting for this quote. Steve's father is dying and says to
Steve that he wished he could cry (this is why I'm a big fan of
crying). After a no doubt karmic pause, Steve asks his dad what he
wanted to cry about. His father's reply....
He then went on to make movies. What a Jerk. The Jerk was his first
film that he wrote and starred in. He honors Carl Reiner, the director,
as the person who modeled to him how to be a person. Well done. Only
one review in America gave a good review to The Jerk. It did over a
hundred and fifty million in 1980's dollars........ The Jerk is no
shirk. He knows how to bring it.
I like Martin's directness, courage and playfulness. He's also really
funny in the book. He shares a bit that he finally cut out of his big
shows. This bit he sets up by going on and on about how he has a sexual
fetish. The punch line is: "I like to wear men's underwear." Of course,
you don't know if he means his own, or..... but it takes the twist
out of all our panties, so that we can laugh at our true and wonderful
silliness.
Mark Herbert Krueger
May 13, 2008
What happened to all the space and ease in mundane life? My ease, our
ease, has been dissed and I'm pissed. I say take back your time! We
have wonderful opportunities of unempiring and downsizing in America.
Get rid of crap and baggage; welcome time, space and kindness. No
biggie........ and instead, lots 'o wonderful smallies,
justtherightsizeies, being and sharing. We can't get back to eden, but
why not its suburbs......
I watch and read media all the time: several newspapers, cable tv,
online and periodicals. I see patterns and read them. That is what
informs my writing. I also watch likewise in the personal and mundane.
I see, and when I get a chance, I have much to say because I see so
much. I'll weave in what I see floating by in the jetsam as I write to
you, as well as what springs out serendipitously, no limits. Media
digest and esoterica.....
Public television had the first of two parts on President Franklin
Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt. Fascinating. Til his dying day, he
kept trying new ways to get on his feet, stricken as he was with adult
polio. What suffering and what a bearer of what all were going through,
getting on their feet. Eleanor's pain was intricate and massive. You
can see the old feminine become the new feminine in her as she lived
through all this pain. She's deeply the great woman behind the great
man, but really more the great woman behind the great nation. She was a
force to be reckoned with and she changed the world profoundly. We'll
see what the second part reveals.
The Motor City is trying to revive its products and regain some
ascendancy, so yesterday they had a big industry fete with stars and
all. I saw the actress Kim Cantrall quip: the car show "is a great
place to meet male". I liked her phrasing. Makes sense to me. If we let
male free float without attachment to a man, it behaves more like yang,
rather than the usual cock and ball story. I like male in a woman and I
like female in a man. I bet you do, too. I say let be. Let so many of
the encrusted stories fall off of these identifications that we have in
our lives all the time. Is Whole Foods a good place to meet female?
Where do you meet your groin up icons......
Myanmar's oppressed leading light, Suu Kyi, has not been heard of
since the cyclone crushed the country. Asia has a tradition of seeing
these kinds of storms as the wrath of gods. It's a razor's edge
situation for the Burma slaves. This is not a close shave; this is
unmitigated disaster, in the same tsunami pattern of Banda Aceh and
Katrina. Hopeless helplessness with unimaginable inundation of
suffering.
Some Buddhists consider Burma/Myanmar to be the repository of the
direct lineage of Guatama Buddha by the oral tradition, unsullied, in
the same language that came out of the Buddha's lips.
S. N. Goenka is
the bearer of this lineage. Dharma is Dhamma. Dhamma is not a religion;
it is a realization, a
choice. I was blessed to take a ten day Vipassana meditation course at
a
Goenka center in Washington state. It is a wonderful place in
a very well held tradition.
It was the most rigorous sitting I've ever done. My legs are too white
to sit like that, but I did, ten days. I took every chance I could to
do walking meditation on the grounds (between Mt. St. Helens and Mt.
Rainier..... right in that almighty bosom, with Helens' mass ectomy,
her great wounded beauty, holding suffering and welling, in her 3D). Go
to Mt. St. Helens if you want to be in the presence of
transformation....
As I walked the last mile on the last day prior to receiving Metta, the
transmission of Buddhic love, to put it simply, the bell rang to call
us to sit and there upon the doorway was a literal end of the rainbow.
I don't know that anyone else noticed. I not only a true believer but
also a true receiver. The teachers have been so generous with me
because I came to them with open birdie beak and agape heart. Metta
delivered. Graciously.
So with deep interest and pain, I watch Myanmar carry the shadow of
Buddha, the shadow of the world, Asian style.... all that pain..... all
that opium...... all that suffering....... all that Buddha. What times
we live in! It's hard to tell the helpless and helpful apart. The
resistance to help is all too familiar in our own psyches, and now we
see it on the public stage, horrifically. Sometimes it looks like: All
We Love Is Need cuz we sure fail as a civilization in giving baseline
help to billions of people. It's the old..... feeling better when
another is feeling worse, up down game that we just can't seem to
shake. If our charity truly worked, we wouldn't need to have any.
Otherwise, there are layers in giving that are vain efforts,
celebration of goodness on the backs of those that are having it bad.
We try, but we haven't chosen, truly. Now's the time. That's why we
have soooo much available suffering.
I spent a month working in South Africa and Namibia. It is beautiful
beyond compare there, and yet sooooo much disparate suffering. I
haven't been back. I find it so hard to bear. Any where I'll feel that,
but some zones on Earth seem to hold this story for us. Victimry to
victory. I'd rather that we end the victimry before it requires another
glorious victory. Peace be with Myanmar, the Buddha, the Dhamma, the
Sangha and Suu Kyi.
Mark Herbert Krueger
Acting President Dick Cheney always had a ring to it. Remember his arch
bunker behaviors on 9/11? Maybe the world is changing. W is good, Obama
wins, the Clintons recede.... well the times they are astranging....
One of the things I wanted to point to yesterday in my writing was an
appreciation for organizing in America that takes it to the street with
courage and intention. I'd wrote of Saul Alinksy and Obama, organizing
that had grown out of labor, civil rights and suffragism. The Writer's
Guild strike was important. They took a lot of flak from all directions
and held the line. It's not the janitor's union, but those folks work
their asses off and deserve fair compensation. Because of their place
in media as the media, it was good sparkiness for all the kindlings.
What made me right proud though was the west coast Longshoreman who
struck on May 1st for one day, the traditional day of Labor.
They struck,
they lost a day's wages which is fucking really hard to do anywhere
these days, to call for an immediate end to the war in Iraq. That's
what it's going to take. Civil disobedience by choice is what works.
Sometimes violence is appropriate, but I'd rather we just wean off that
shit in general.
Now on to something completely divergent....
Endive. I didn't know, but it's pronounced ahn deev. Tres bien. It's
the bitter leafy veg that is sprouted chicory shoots that are grown in
the dark so that they are blanched, except for the yellow or red
pigments. You can cook or ensalad with them. It struck me that the
French like to torture their food. Let's not be silly, we kill it all
anyways, sort of splitting heresy. But whether it's foie gras or these
caves of chicory dickory dock looking for the light the end of the
menu..... they do some rather unnatural things to attain a naturally
delicious outcome. We'll never stop wining or dining, but I look
forward to the save the endive movement of pro chlorphyllists....... in
the green era.
I saw some hilarious films in the last few days. I'd missed them
somehow. I like this sort of goofy spoofy humor. I thought the women
had a lot of fun in this one:
Fatal Instinct
By the way, IMDB is great if you're a film nut. Check this one out too:
School for Scoundrels. If you are in need of belly laughs
and you like losers 'n nerds, have a chuckle.
I'll have plenty words for you around film and acting. In the wings, I
have a domain that I'll spin off when the time's right. It's about
acting: the courage of being that it takes to act, especially well. I
also see film as the download of new archetypal shifts, so there's meat
in them there Hollywood hills, despite grotesque appearances. Plus,
movies is fun. I like to mix giggles with insights. It's pretty much
all a movie anyway.
Thanks for being with me.
Mark Herbert Krueger
May 12, 2008
Many odd things have happened since I died and unborned. I've been
reading books. Because of dyslexia, I opted out of mass reading from
the get go. In my life, I've read maybe a dozen or so books back to
back. I read journalism, short form stuff. My writing is like that,
too. Condensed. After about a year, I realized that I couldn't muster
writing the book I was going to write about love, because I don't
understand the long form, or at least find that I couldn't hold that
form. Perhaps with the help of an editor, I could get into it, but for
now it's too daunting.
I was saved from dyslexia during the first grade in Chicago. My father
made fun of me all the time because I transposed syllables and numbers,
though oddly not letters. This precious speech therapist woman had me
read out loud. Somehow her care and intent snapped me out of it. But
since then, everything I say, I say first in my head before it comes
out of my mouth. I vet it first making sure nothing is scrambled so
that you won't make fun of any misspeak. The process is lightning fast
because it's the way it's always been. I can think on my feet and then
some. I don't use notes when I give a talk generally and I'm extremely
aural, photographic hearing when I was young, no need to study. I was
dead when I went to college, the book load ended my academia, even
tried speed reading, no luck. Because of this odd dyslexia, I'm killer
on those word jumbles in the newspaper. Most days I can just go down
the list and name the words cuz they're all scrambled for me anyways.
My style is based in the richness of this dyslexia. I rearrange
syllables for the play and point of it. When I pun, there are many
layers to it. I see language as Word, code. You can read anyone by what
they say. The unconscious is right there to read, always. People will
say that they meant something else or claim semantics or such, but what
is said is unedited and right out of the brain pan. This has nothing to
do with notions of the truth by the way, ala lie detectors. Right and
wrong have nothing to do with it. It's just info and I can read it,
then reflect to my client their patterns.
My purpose in punningly playing with the words is to break open the
trances that the code holds. The purpose is not to dump in new info,
but to allow the space for being and all its intelligence and wonder.
Being can play. The mind is rutted and dulled. Popping the archetypal
pinatas opens up new choice and possibility.
This new found book reading is delightful. My current tome is Steve
Martin's - Born Standing Up. He's a really curious fellow. I saw him in
the '70s as an opening act, don't remember for whom. I didn't get him
at all..... until the next time.
I can't believe how much courage Steve carries. He describes how he
came to his odd style that blew comedy out of the water. I see Stephen
Colbert breaking through comedy, too. You can't name what these guys
are doing because they're cutting the edge. It amazes me how Martin
persisted! I do take note. He says that it was about ten years when he
came fully into form. Maybe I am too. Tome will tell.
One line I wanted to share with you is oh so relevant to what I've been
going through lately, and actually my whole life. Maybe you, too.
One of the things I find fascinating about Steve Martin is his amazing
karma to meet the famous. I don't bump into anyone of fame, even if I'm
trying. My manifestations are quite uncannily fine, but not the fame
variety, so far. Animals, plants, info, spiritual teachers and
adventures, all of that has been magnificent in manifestation for me
for years, just not the famous. It's the accomplishments of the famed
that holds my interest. Steve was popping right from the get go at
Disneyland and especially when he got out on his own.
In one story, he went east with a friend to interview Aaron Copeland
and ended up in Charles Ives' house, too (found out he sold insurance
in the day and composed at night). Martin was a big e. e. cummings fan
so went looking up his house and wife in Cambridge, MA. He asked a
woman for directions to get there; the woman was William James' great
grand daughter and she said to say hi to the cummings. This guy's got
it cummings and going!
For a spell he was in love with Dalton Trumbo's daughter Mitzi. They
spent much time at Dalton's home along with major creative people. I
find that fascinating. Steve is a classicist of sorts; he's got creds,
including philosophy and logic in academia that'd make our brains melt.
What he values, really comes to him. Blessed be Steve. A true believer.
My favorite serendipitous story of his concerned his time at
Disneyland. He was there all the time working and hanging as a kid.
Performing, whether good or bad, counts for a lot. He manifested a
vaudevillian childhood, including actual vaudevillians, while living in
the Orange county suburbs. Amazing. Amazingly intentful that boy! While
at Disneyland one day, he noticed a curious looking woman taking
photographs of the castle. Years later he bought the photo of the Magic
Castle, by Diane Arbus. To have witnessed great art in the making and
then to find his way to purchasing said moment.......... that's my kind
of guy.
Serendipity is as serendipity does. Don't leave home without.
Mark Herbert Krueger
Would you kindly pass the word actively and now. Because of the
crashing and burning of transformation for the last three months, my
readership drifted off. Time to spark up anew and bring in the old and
the new. I'm ready for a popular audience. My prior writing was
extremely pointed to bring people to the realization of their own
consciousness. I had a lot of contracts with folks to find me in the
ethers and I was to keep my astrology shingle up so that they could
find me. That is done now.
Henceforth what I offer is marketable to a broadening fan base rather
than a funneling esoteric base (which worked brilliantly by the way;
I'm extremely proud of my clients). I'm still a bit ill down deep and
my energy is dicey at times, but I'm flowing and want to dance with the
world in this way. I still have a longer range focus to manifest a
streaming video web site for moi so that I can cover much more
territory to share with you and so I don't have to type all the time. I
and we may not have many years or days left, so I'm going for it.
Kindly pass the word: blogs, your lists, media, anything. It was
amazing to watch in2light grow from its beginnings. I deeply thank
Leslie Temple-Thurston for that, along with Constance Demby who put me
on her list and taught me how the web works. Ho to yo! Also, none of
this would be possible without my first web master Pat, who passed on
several years ago, and my current web master Julia, who has held me
through this burn. You would not have me or me online without Julia.
Please thank all of them in the ethers.
Have you ever checked out Nexus magazine?
I'm a fan. It springs from Queensland in Australia and is then printed
in different countries as separate editions with local adverts. I like
to refer folks to cool stuff that I run into, so I'll be singing
praises to you over time. There are so many fine people doing so many
fine things! I was at the Nexus home office (thanks Richard!) a couple
of years ago and can vouch for their integrity in person, as well as
what is apparent in the magazine. Duncan Roads has remarkable
connections into the nether worlds and the articles are very well
vetted and sussed. That's priceless.
One article out of so many that struck a chord in me is in the July/Aug
'07 issue. It's entitled: The Forged Origins of the New Testament by
Tony Bushby. I love these sorts of folks who dedicate their lives to
sussing out very large and tricky issues.
A quote:
The point I want to make is that it's all a hash anyway. All of it, not
just the bible. We are at least all one in the Dream by amalgam. I've
had numbers of ideas pop up "originally", only to find that others
caught the same wave. One I just noticed was a roller derby movie
that's in production. Last year I was encouraging a client of mine
who's an actor and stunt actor to look at making a roller derby movie.
She'd be perfect for it! All the more reason to ride your ideas post
haste; first come first served.
It's all in the serendipity. I call them the Serendips some times.
There's a Devic realm that specializes in such fickle fingers of fate.
I love it as I love the flow. Today I was remembering how I enjoyed
getting back to the USA when I'd been abroad, because I find things
flow better here. In public, people flow in America. All the other
places I've been, their malls abroad, folks bumped into each other all
the time. Likewise with enterprising in America, things flow. I have
clients who either came to the US or do business here rather than in
their own country because of this flow. Thank you America and
Americans!
As to the amalgamation that is Christianity, what is so disturbing is
that people believe instead of just be. Believing leaves your being,
suffering to follow..... The more something is believed, the farther it
is from what it actually is. Sweet blindness. Our era has a culmination
going on in it as we pass beyond the Christian Age. Christians don't
like to hear such, but it's another passing fancy, as is everything. It
all comes and goes. Nailing it down is poisonous. The poisoned then do
the nailing, of others.
When I experienced the Christ in direct realization ten years ago, it
had nothing to do with the dogma, gross or esoteric, that I'd ever
heard about Christ. There was nothing about love or forgiveness or good
deeds or such, that's just human 101; the religious powers co-opt such
and then belittle the human followers as they milk them of their human
kindness. Christed is the realization of the nexus, the matrix, that
holds us dimensionally here. I wouldn't necessarily say now that this
is something to appreciate and praise. I found it to be rather like a
pinned butterfly energetically, beautiful, but......
Anywho.... what an amazing time. We can get the full 411 on all sorts
of stuff. The world is our oyster. It's opening and there are so many
pearls, like you and what you share. If Christianity doesn't finally
kill us while it is saving us, like those innumerable non-euro millions
who've been saved to death, maybe it can lead a truly humble return to
values inherent in being, which is at the core of humans. We can
appreciate our metaphysic forebears in fullness. I do. But I also
suggest moving beyond the caravan, as the dogmas bark........
Mark Herbert Krueger
What I share isn't truth or such. I just say what I see. That's clear
and leads to no blowback actually. People carry massive crusty matrices
of right/wrong. The truth hasn't set anyone free cuz your still chained
to Truth and truth is local and bound to change. All the control
freaked software hates what I just said. Being requires no burden of
truth. Opinion is a stupid word. Just say what you see. It's neither
truth nor opinion. Americans especially seem to be so locked up in
haveaniceday crap of one variety or another and can't get angry and
expressive. Post 9/11 has been a fascist disaster that fosters the
fascism inherent in Truth.
When I was homeless in the last three months, two weeks on the streets
and two weeks homeless with a car, in San Diego, Hollywood, Las Vegas
and Palm Springs, whenever I piped up about the crap that the
corporation at hand was doing to me, and to the folks around me by the
way, everybody, I mean everybody, colluded with the offending
corporation and in effect shushed me.
This does not bode well. The sheep are shearly ready for armageddon. I
come out of serious civil disobedience teachings.
Saul Alinsky was a teacher to me
in his writings when I was a teenager. Obama roots directly to this
kind of organizing. I went to Kalamazoo College in 1970 along with
really hard core, lay it all on the line Jews and Mennonites whose
families were deep in the Movement. Things have moved, people!!! And it
is because of the shakers that move us. We hear it directly in Barack.
I say get feisty out loud in your daily life. If you don't pipe up,
you'll be already ready to be piped down. So these pages will get
feisty at times as well as feasty. Let's play. Speak your peace, not
your pieces.... Undivide and unconquer. Not Whole or Holy. Just
indivisible. Being without trappings. Not powerful or powerless, but
beyond power. Being is beyond power. It leaves no residue and grinds no
axe. The mind can only grind you and everyone else, asses to asses,
dust to dust. I say clear your identification in the software that
makes you wrong while goosing you to be right. It's hoarse shit. It's
bullied crap. It's dumb and dull.
I like it that there's a young woman singer named Feist. Her music
hasn't grabbed me, but I find so many women musicians really putting it
out there. Oddly, I like some of Avril Lavigne's tunes. She lets 'er
rip. I play her louder than anyone else. She moves me. There are so
many more. I hear the very best feistiness in women musicians! You go
girlz! Kick assininity.
As I wrote earlier, I'm a big fan of Joni Mitchell. She brings it
feisty indeed. Even the beauty of her earliest tunes was feisty. How
outrageous to make such beauty! One of these days I'll write more
extensively about Canadian musicians. I've been so blessed by them and
their work. If you're a fan of sixties music, check out the film:
Festival Express. Post Woodstock, a
Canadian promoter put on a string of festivals in Canada and rented a
whole train for these musicians to get blasted on from gig to gig. It's
unique. Not all the music is super wonderful, but you get to see
musicians as musicians together. I found that precious. I think it may
catch Janis Joplin at her best. I cry every time I see her great and
broken heart wailing for me. She brought feisty 'til it killed her.
[Please read my earlier writings. This site is now a scrolling ramble.
Go upstream to find more entertainment and nuggets of whatever you
like. I'll speak to many, many things, but I'll also speak to many
aspects of certain things. There's treasures along the way. If you like
it, please invite others.]
When I was in Hollywood, homeless some weeks ago, I went to the Chateau
Marmont to see if I could make a connection to crack things open. I
know it sounds mad, but I go for it. Along with
locationlocationlocation, there is connection. In LaLaland, that may be
the only way. The
Chateau Marmont is a hotel in
West Hollywood on Sunset. It is as noir as you get. I've yet to stay
there, but I did drink at the bar one night (I'm not really a drinker,
but when in roam...). I wanted to meet Joni Mitchell and offer her
karmic perspective on her estrangement from her daughter all those
years and such. No luck, though I did drink with the man who owns the
New England Journal of Medicine; I won't go into what he shared with
me, but it was interesting indeed. But no Joni, alas and alack.
So Joni, if you ever find your way here...... I have a gift for you. By
the by, this is a zero degrees of separation zone. If you know her,
hook us up. Times awastin', ay?
Speaking of the Canadian musicians...... both Joni and Neil Young had
childhood polio. No wonder they're fesity! I imagine it was
nightmarish, but they sure spun gold out of those short straws. They
must have considerable ongoing pain in their bodies. I'm a body pain
wimp, though karmically courageous. I don't know how you all do it. Oy!
If I get out of the loops of pain that are in my guts or wherever, I'll
likely have just silence in my body. It's mostly been like that for the
last eight and a half years since I began clearing my karma directly.
It's not the peace installed from other dimensions. It's the absence of
noise. Once I got a shoe lift installed on my left leg, I've been at
peace in gravity for the first time in my life. I've had other blessed
modalities that don't put anything in and just assist in the unwinding
of the knots, like Rolfing, and so many more. I've had amazing
practitioners help me in my life. Thank you thank you thank you to all
of you!
What beauty comes out of the pain. I reckon we especially love that
kind of well ground story because we sure do live it a lot. Raggeds to
riches. Remember that beauty comes in all forms and you don't need the
pain to uncover it. But yet, so often.......
Steve Martin's childhood was not pretty, very grinding. He had decades
of panic attacks in adulthood, of which it sounds like he's mostly free
from. Oh, the fear I've seen installed in my clients........ I've had
panic attacks too, when I crashed and burned on the inside in my 30s. I
was raised in fear, even though there was no violence. I wasn't allowed
to be. The symptom of that is fear. The cure is not love. There's been
more than enough love going on around, high and low, for forever. There
is no cure for fear, because it's not an illness. It's just the noise
that happens when you aren't being.
Well composted fear is the stuff of brilliance and courage. We all
share in that. In2light has always been dedicated to bringing what is
unconscious to consciousness. Transcendence is denial. Facing the
shadow, the fear, composts it and lovely flowers grow. The transcendent
stuff always smacks of denial and interrupts the natural composting. It
isn't grounded. We are really seeing that in our current era.
Transcendence is fear, buried. Being allows fear to be, because it is
not what it is. Denying fear makes it more real, but hidden and
projected. That has made the world go round and round. It's called
karma. Claim your own being and let the rest of the pieces fall away I
say. Don't get over it, don't get into it. Let it be and you'll be
being. Easy peacey and I mean it. I live it. It's no big deal. That's
why it's hard to see and why all the powermongering is seen.... it's
noise on top of the noise, like Bose headphones. Noise canceling noise.
Let be and let play. The noise isn't you.
Mark Herbert Krueger
I've begun writing with you to play in the flow, to explore the
interactivity of serendipity. There's no blog cuz we're doing it in the
ethers. I listen to you as I write, beyond the words. My intent is that
my words affect you beyond the words. For me, language and life and
energy and matter are all code. I watch and participate in the inter
change. You and the world are my painting. Maybe I'm some of your
paints, a brush........ with destiny.
I don't canvas you, because you are my canvas, if you will, if you
choose. This is meant to exercise life as novel and novel as life or
some such. Free flow freely being. I encourage you to all the space of
your being without effort. Come play, come play, we'll fly all ways all
day. Being beyond now and so hear, hear your self and we'll glisten as
we listen to ourselves together.
I wrote for over 500 weeks in a row on my site in2light.com, particular
to karma and astrology. As a pre-schooler, I saw karmic patterns in
people and the world. The moment I became an astrologer 31 years ago, I
did so for the purpose of seeing through karma and to liberate my self
from such suffering and encourage others to undo likewise. My interest
has not been to turn leaden bad karma into golden good karma, or to
transcend local karma while ignoring the karma of dimensional shifting
to the light at the end of those funnels. I find all karma to not be
me, or you. That is what I've been realizing my own being, especially
in the recent crushendo as I went through the looking glass but not
beyond. I unyondered so I be.
This writing will be all manner of yonder and wonder and ponder, but it
is in concert with you. I'll be sharing myself intimately. Not for the
purpose of legacying moi. It all is coming and going; it matters and it
unmatters. I'm being with you and I want you to be with me, 3D and
virtual, just like always, but consciously, playfully. Kruegerness
don't mean shit. But I've got the costume, I've unbuttoned it and you
have bared my heart, so..... Share I will with you and all who come.
I'm a wandering minstrel man who ran out of gas on the wandering and
now can wander with you through the echoes and filagree of whatever
comes to play. It's all play to me and all interactive. I hope you'll
join with me and invite others, too.
.......and now for something completely different but connected...
I want to give you Joni Mitchell's lyrics to her song Urge for Going,
about which I wrote in 5/8/08. [Please go upscroll in my writing; it's
all connected and not time dependent; it's all for you from me cuz I
want to share with you in a non-friction novel way ongoingly in the
nicks of time.
I say risk 99 cents and download 'er. Ya gotta hear the music of this
one to be embraced fully. Joni's music is beguilingly ancient and new.
I love the roots that are inherent in what got called Folk music. Roots
is way important to me, foundation, the ground upon which we play. All
music is folk music as Louis Armstrong said.
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